For those of you that do not know, a junk boat is basically a shitty boat that can host around 30-40 people for a massive lash up from 0930-1800 on a Sunday. It usually goes to a bay somewhere pulls up, everyone gets fucked on all the booze that is there and then it heads home, everyone disperses and goes to bed. Usually a good crack.
So my day on the junk was slightly different, as you can imagine from most of our stories.
That weekend I was hosting my first couch surfer, because I am cool and hippy and don’t give a shit. I dragged her along for banter. I arrived at the boat, did the introductions
Me-“Hi, I am Daniel, I will probably be fingering you later or calling you a whore or perhaps both!”
The birthday boys arrived shortly after, they were absolutely wrecked from the night before, one dressed as a pharaoh and the other as a flamenco dancer, a sight for sore eyes.
We all got on the boat… the excitement was building… opened the ice bucket… there must have been around 300 cans and 10 bottles of spirits… and only 16 people to drink them all, and of course there were some Chinese people so we had to drink for them too.
It was a great day. I was drunk, it was sunny, I was swimming, having banter, eating food.Then I heard a voice “can anyone roll?” MY TIME HAD COME. there was a holy aura around me, I made a beautiful masterpiece of a J, EVERYONE WAS HAPPY. However after playing ‘Down or gay?’ for the past 5 hours, meant I was wrecked already, the J nailed me. I was face down on the deck of the boat asleep in the sun.
The next thing I know, my dick was getting touched, in front of everyone (work colleagues). Myself and this chinese gyal (who is a client, awks) made our way downstairs into the toilets. We fucked. BANG. the boat hit a wave and I was on the toilet floor naked, covered in piss. I got back up and continued intercourse. Every 5 minutes or so the girl would say “May I?” And because I am a gentleman I would reply with “you may!” And she would go down on me. WHORE!
We were still smashing it out when the boat arrived back at shore, I got off and I was still putting my clothes on. One of the birthday boys had my flip flops, as I went to take them off him, he threw them in the dirty dock water. By this time my boat had gone and there was another one lined up, so i ran on to that, the family that was aboard screamed a little bit as darted through them and dived off the side of the boat like Tom Daley with a weight problem.
I gathered my flip flops and came ashore. My couch surfer (different gyal to the one I fucked) and I went back to the Island where I live, because I am pervy/hero I convinced her to skinny dip. We were both naked, swimming in the dark by the beach 19:25pm. She rubbed my D a lot. This pleased me.
When we got back to the flat, she insisted that she was going to take all her clothes off for the duration untill we went to bed. (I TOOK PHOTOS)
I did not fuck her, but it was hilarious nonetheless.
NB. Other things that happened that day.
My drunk mate fell down the stairs and then told the driver of the boat that stairs in general were a health and safety issue.
Other drunk mate jumped of the boat while it was going through the harbour (one of the busiest harbours in the world, really fucking dangerous)
That same girl I shagged, gave head to another guy afterwards.
I ate loads of spring rolls.
I stole a bottle of vodka from the boat.
I now have a really bruised ankle and cuts everywhere.
‘Down or Gay?’ You either down your drink, or your gay, pretty simple game.
Floyd
Floyd & Wolf 